Hey man,

S u c k s !

NOTICE: I am no longer updating the mail page. Ever since S&M came out, it's been a total nuisance, getting me anywhere from 1 - 5 emails a day, and every one of them seems to be at least 1,000 words long, made of the same arguments from old letters that have been re-phrased, as if that makes them new points that will stump me. I'm sick of reading the same crap over again, and even more so, I'm sick of copying and pasting that stuff onto the page. I might put a message board here someday, but until then, just leave your little rants in the guestbook (notice I said "little," I don't need a whole freaking essay) for now.

Another thing I have to ask: What made you weirdos take this page so seriously? It suggests that Metallica were replaced by evil Teletubbie robots, and thrown helluva far by Mr. T... How does that prompt a 5 page essay on the merit of James Hetfield's new "boy, I wish I was Chris Issacs" vocal style, or Kirk Hammet's new belly button ring and crop top he bought at Hot Topic? Lighten the hell up, people. If you can't take a joke, or you don't realize when a page is a joke, or you take a joke about a band you like as a personal insult, turn off your computer (or WebTV, yuck), and cancel your subscription to your ISP. You'll be doing us all a favor.

Now, on to the letters sent before I got sick of this page