Vaughn: "Of course, you will not be confronting just the Sargent alone. in his quest for global domination, he is aided by his four illegitemate sons, The Stormtroopers of Death..."
"The brains of the group, as well as Sgt. D's unholy spokesman. Several hundred pounds of man, he is very powerful and considered extremely dangerous, so approach with caution."
"Made a Mistake" Benante, a.k.a. Chief Brody.
"Very crafy, he is extremely dangerous, quite hairy, and known for his bizarre, creepy obsession with the word "schism." He may provide us with an advantage, as when he makes an error, his allies are quick to make jokes at his expense."
Rosenfeld, a.k.a. Scott "Not" Ian.
"Hyper and unpredictable, mainly due to his almost heroic intake of coffee and other caffinated beverages. Approach with caution, as he is very dangerous, very hairy, and extremely Jewish."
Mr. T: "Hey sucka, you're gonna get us trouble!"
Vaughn: "Oh, sorry, dude."
"Danny Boy" Lilker.
"Armed, dangerous, and easily the hairiest of the group. According to intelligence reports, he cannot go more than five minutes without asking the question, "hey, have you heard about my new band Hemlock?" If this should happen, simply say you have. If he breaks into a long speech about them, humor him at all costs."